i am reading Meg Wolitzer's THE POSITION. it is about this couple who writes a joy-of-sex-type book in the 70's and the effects of it on their family and especially their children. it jumps back and forth from the 70's to the present day and the family still dealing with it.

one of this issues involved is kids coming to see their parents as sexual beings. their parents writing a book and also being the models for the pictures inside create a situation in which the children cannot live in denial--like so many kids are able to in real life. with my daughter getting older i am also starting to face the fact that my daughter is becoming a sexual creature. i don't know which is more difficult--facing your parents' sexuality or your children's. i think a lot of parents also try to live in denial about that as well. there is a lot of, if i don't think about it it doesn't exist. i want my daughter to have a healthy relationship to her sexuality. i have tried to be open about sex and answering her questions, even about my sexual experiences (which is oh so hard). for me to pretend like when, how and with who she will do it with is up to me seems crazy. as with drinking and drugs i have tried to stress safety. i have told her i would prefer she not do these things until she is ready and older but if she is going to do them only do it with people you feel safe and call me if things get out of hand. both her dad and step-dad would rather not know anything...i think that may be a man thing.

if anyone remembers their awakening as a sexual being and has advice--email me. when did you first have sex? why? did you parents talk with you about it? do you wish your parents were more or less involved? what would have made it better? did you feel you did it too young?